Feeling unsafe and insecure.

:(

It's so difficult sometimes. For both.

There's so much I want to see. I am passionate about my desire to travel and see the world, see the sights, see what it has to offer me. This primarily stems from the fact that I was very restricted when I was young and living at home- I barely went out of the house until I started uni and essentially created my own independence from my parents. Also being in financial hardship meant going overseas was out of the question. The only reason I had the money to go overseas was because my parents divorced and sold the family house, from which they gave my brothers and I a small sum. I use the term house because it wasn't "home" for a very long time while we lived in it.

I ended up lending most of my share to my brother anyway. What a stupid move that was.

Now I'm restricted for a different reason. It is nobody's fault, but more we are unfortunate victims of circumstances. For whatever difficulty or irritation I feel, it must be a minute fraction of what it must be really like. 

But that doesn't mean it doesn't get me down sometimes. Wanting to go on a holiday, not necessarily far just somewhere I haven't been to before. Naturally I'm going to ask. But would I be able to go without you?

I'm afraid of what would happen if I did. It's only a week, but it takes less than that for the boat to capsize. I'm not happy about this at all.