"Pearls of Wisdom" plus graffiti

One of my school friends posted this on their blog, and I couldn't help but copy/paste it into this one, because I felt like commenting on some of the statements (hence the "graffiti").

Pearls of Wisdom:
"Twenty-Five Things It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn" by Dave Barry

1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
Comment: Is it really? Sounds like you're just writing off action films.. although admittedly there aren't many action films with good storylines, they just have a good cast of stuntmen backing up Tom Cruise.

2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
Comment: Hehe, I like this one.

3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor.
Comment: Reminds me of JD from Scrubs :) But this is true. It's the whole concept of 'by admitting to being something, you've just proved that you're not'.. which sounds odd, but makes sense somehow.

4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.
Comment: Thanks to Bushisms, the world is a funnier place.

5. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
Comment: Good call! I've heard at least one story of a friend who tried to engage in friendly conversation with a lady about her baby bump, only to be told that she wasn't pregnant.. aw-kward!

6. A penny saved is worthless.
Comment: Especially if you're living in Oz. Although I've just discovered the beauty of Eftpos transactions when dealing with rounding errors. I recently bought groceries from Woolies for $22.83. I had no cash at the time so I used my keycard. Later on, I realised that I'd paid 2 cents less than what I would have paid with cash! Win!

7. They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms living in the Middle East will be bitter enemies.
Comment: I had to laugh at the image that the final sentence created in my head, but I don't like the bitterness and cynicism of this one. There MUST be a way for humans to live in moderate peace across the world, surely.

8. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
Comment: Beats gravity anyday. But I've noticed that the less you engage in this force, the weaker it gets.

9. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.
Comment: Hehe. :)

10. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
Comment: 11 is a great number. But people shouldn't stop showing love for their friends - and a birthday is just a special excuse to throw a party. We shouldn't restrict ourselves to having parties and giving gifts and/or love to people by socially accepted causes for celebration. That's just sad.

11. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
Comment: As there is a very fine line between "mental illness" and "love".

12. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
Comment: Ironic, isn't it? Although I'd have to be biased here and say that I think it's more prevalent amongst Christians - from my personal experience I've just found them to be more vocal about their religion, but also less willing to listen. That said, I do enjoy learning about all religions, and can't really hold a grudge against the religion itself, it's up to the believers to represent their faith in the best way possible.

13. There apparently exists, somewhere in Los Angeles, a computer that generates concepts for television sitcoms. When TV executives need a new concept, they turn on this computer; after sorting through millions of possible plot premises, it spits out, "THREE QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT," and the executives turn this concept into a show. The next time they need an idea, the computer spits out, "SIX QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT." Then the next time, it spits out, "FOUR QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT." And so on. We need to locate this computer and destroy it with hammers.
Comment: Agreed. I don't know about the 'destroying' part though..

14. Nobody is normal.
Comment: There IS no such thing as normal.

15. At least once per year, some group of scientists will become very excited and announce that:
* The universe is even bigger than they thought!
* There are even more subatomic particles than they thought!
* Whatever they announced last year about global warming is wrong.
Comment: Hehe - agreed :)

16. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
Comment: Hehe :)

17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
Comment: Perhaps. But sometimes they get the message across (thankfully).

18. The value of advertising is that it tells you the exact opposite of what the advertiser actually thinks. For example:
* If the advertisement says "This is not your father's Oldsmobile," the advertiser is desperately concerned that this Oldsmobile, like all other Oldsmobiles, appeals primarily to old farts like your father.
* If Coke and Pepsi spend billions of dollars to convince you that there are significant differences between these two products, both companies realize that Pepsi and Coke are virtually identical.
* If the advertisement strongly suggests that Nike shoes enable athletes to perform amazing feats, Nike wants you to disregard the fact that shoe brand is unrelated to athletic ability.
* If Budweiser runs an elaborate advertising campaign stressing the critical importance of a beer's "born-on" date, Budweiser knows this factor has virtually nothing to do with how good a beer tastes.
Comment: Yep, yep, yep and yep.

19. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
Comment: Too funny, too true :)

20. You should not confuse your career with your life.
Comment: OHHH THIS IS SO TRUE *wails*

21. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
Comment: Damn straight. I don't like people who treat "lower" people like trash. Just because their job is to serve you doesn't make them any less of a person - in fact, it probably makes them more of a person than you (unless they're spitting in your food - now that's just low and gross).

22. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
23. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

Comment: Gotta love the comic images that arise in my mind at such statements!

24. Your friends love you anyway.
Comment: I hope I can say this is true, of my friends, and of me as a friend.

25. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
Comment: Although he has to improve on his moves.. ;)

relations and the W word

While I was having a shower today I had a thought. I'm relatively certain the best philosophers and thinkers and inventors of modern times come up with their ideas in the shower. It's such a great thinking spot!

But that wasn't my thought. I was thinking about relationships and friendships. I'm the sort of person that needs to get to know a person when I meet them. I like to think that beyond the superficial meaningless polite chit chat about work/hobbies etc, for all the people I keep in touch with there's something about them as people that I know that not many other people do. Something personal, whether that be a shared funny experience or an opinion they may not necessarily share with everybody else, or helping them through a troubled time.

I think that's how friendship works. True friends are people with whom you're able to let your guard down and share with them your darkest thoughts, your deepest fears and doubts, for better or worse, without fear of embarrassment or ridicule. If I apply that definition, then I don't have many true friends. I keep my guard up alot of the time, so maybe that's of my own making.

There aren't many people out there that know about my past. My past includes a difficult childhood, difficult family environment for most of it, and the troubles of a kid who's been accelerated through school as a "gifted" student. There would be a few people who would know bits and pieces, but from go to woe? I could easily count them on one hand. And I don't think there are 5 people out there I've told. I realise this is slightly ironic that I am now blogging this, which can potentially be seen by the entire internet world.

On the other hand, how to define a relationship? An obvious difference between relationship and friendship is physical attraction, and deriving the physical pleasure that goes with that. But for me there's more than that. If it was just so I had someone to do stuff with, then I could just get some friends. If it was just about the physical, then you don't need a relationship for that either.

I think it's about sharing. I don't mean just the stuff, the material that we all collate over the years that's new and interesting to the other person. I mean sharing experiences. Not just about telling her the stories of the crazy and interesting of the past, but of the future. It's not about me just wanting to do this and this. It's now me wanting to do this and this WITH her. And I could still go and do this and this with just myself or with other people, but somehow it's not as fun as if it had been with that other person.

For example I've always wanted to go up to Jenolan caves and just explore. I've always wanted to go camping for 3 days and just unwind. There's nothing stopping me from doing that with friends, aside from just general laziness. But that's the thing. If I could do those things with her, I would organise it in a second. I'm generally ok with organising things, I just need the motivation to do it. And while it sounds like a cop out, the motivation I need, is a particular person.

Currently I'm in a relationship with a special girl. I'm willing to go through so much for her. She's so special to me, and a special part of my life, even if she doesn't always know it cos I don't always show it all the time. I'm doing the best I can, every day is a new step for me.

The W word is why? Well I don't know the answer quite at the moment. But it makes me happy to go through life with her, and share the experiences I can with her.

BBC Special- Penrith

My neighbours have a tree that overlooks my yard, in which are resident birds- I think they're either robins or miners, I've never been able to spot them. Anyway I have noticed over the past few weeks that there is one bird in particular that has developed a special skill.

Spring is in the air, it's heating up, everything is blooming and growing, and one would expect that the birds would start to put out their mating calls.

This bird is classic. In amongst all the tweeting, I could hear a distinctive "tweet tweet tweet Tweeeet Tweeeeet tweet tweet tweet". Where had I heard this phrase before? It was a little riff that I had heard many times before, but I couldn't quite pinpoint it. Until it hit me.

If any of you out there are still rocking an old skool Nokia mobile, like the 3210, 5110, even 8210 or 8250- remember the message tone? This bird has learnt to imitate the extended message tone of the nokia.

You can hear it almost without fail on a daily basis. It always brings a smile to my day whenever I hear it. I hesitate to imagine the success rate this bird has with its new mating call.... I wonder what David Attenborough would make of this fascinating new natural phenomenon. The impact of humans on the natural world rears itself in yet another unusual way..

how bizarre..

I found this on a friend's facebook wall:

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

intensely fascinating

You gotta see this.

creativity is a gift

Have a read of this:
"The Mother of Invention"

Although the whole article is quite interesting, this excerpt is probably the most random and kind of amusing:

"I recently got a call from somebody in Defence," she reveals. "Very top secret, very hush-hush. Couldn't tell me their name. They asked, 'Is it possible to shoot bullets through your product? And can it be used to build walls around structures, like army deposits for instance?'."

She begins to get animated, jigging around excitedly in her seat, her big, silver, guitar earrings swinging wildly about her head. "So I started Googling because I love a challenge and I started getting info, like how much water it takes to stop a bullet. According to New Scientist, three centimetres of water will stop a 50-calibre bullet significantly, due to the surface area and the drag. So if you line up the Hogs and surround a structure then, yes, they do become bulletproof."

I never thought about stopping bullets with water! I mean, now that the idea has been shown to me, it makes a lot of sense.. although I suppose it's not really possible to wear bulletproof vests that have water in them..

some interesting articles

"Save the trees and go digital"
It's true. Sometimes I feel like I have to print out a webpage full of text, just so I can concentrate on it properly. Trying to read and comprehend things off a screen can be surprisingly difficult sometimes.

"Facebook 1, HSBC 0"
The simple lesson here is, as most of us probably already know/realise, Facebook has the potential (or already is) a powerful medium in many ways. I'm currently at a point where I'm getting over Facebook in terms of its many applications, but still find it useful as a way of keeping in contact with people whom I would probably not regularly contact otherwise.

"The not-so happy hour"
Better nightlife in Sydney? Sounds great.
But still - what's the fascination with alcohol? People should be naturally less inhibited. Loosen up, y'all.

a timely matter

ok, now my appetite has been whet, it is on.

I am incensed at the stupidity of people that are starting bushfires. In Sydney, where we've had water restrictions for years, and it's starting to get hot and dry. It doesn't take a 5th grader. The most recent one was started in the Blue Mountains (not far from where I live) by two 11-yr olds throwing a Molotov cocktail into the bush. I mean, really, where do I begin.

Sure, on the one hand, they're just 11 year old kids going, wow it would be fun to make a Molotov. Undoubtedly they would have been influenced by something they have seen, like a video game, movie, or the Internet. And it follows that being minors they would be unaware of the consequences of their actions. They probably wouldn't have considered beyond, yep, it'll be cool to see it explode, maybe burn something.

The cost of dealing with bushfires, be they natural disasters or man-made, is staggering. Aside from the physical damage by the fire to people's homes, land, buildings, loss of commerce, the cost of fighting the fire itself is enormous. Even when you consider that most firemen are volunteers, the cost of sending multiple trucks, crews from interstate, choppers to waterbomb, the cost of public service for evacuations, temporary accommodation, setting up helplines- the list goes on. Weigh that up against a bottle of oil and a rag and a lighter. Corporal punishment does seem like a very appealing option.

There's talk that the two kids are going to be charged with terrorism offences, in order to underline the severity of their actions. I think that's a bit much. I wholeheartedly endorse giving the guilty parties appropriate and serious punishments; community service won't teach them anything. But to call it a terrorist offence is a misnomer. The word "terrorism" has been thrown around so much by Dubya, that it's now become a buzzword. But that's for another post.

I believe there is definitely a time and place for corporal punishment, if not capital punishment. The humiliation of a public caning would definitely last a lot longer and affect them more than 500 hours of community service. It is easy to confuse corporal punishment with merely inflicting pain, when in actual fact the pain of the event is secondary.

At my old school in Ipswich corporal punishment was still used as a form of discipline. When I was in Year 8, I remember one of the parents made a complaint cos their son had been given the cane, for some repeated minor infringement. One of my old teachers replied, "It's not about the pain. The pain merely helps them remember the humiliation and shame of being caned." It follows that whatever physical pain is caused by the punishment, the emotional pain associated with the event magnifies the event. The power of the mind is much stronger than the power of the hand.

Suffice to say if these two were my kids there would be some serious smackdown to be laid...

a metaphor

I'm sick as a dog.

totally amused

I hate to say it, but I can't help but shake my head and laugh when I see a full-length photo of footballer Peter Crouch. Like thus:



It's funnier when you get a pic of him doing his robot dance:



Hehe. I think I laugh at him because I was first introduced to this lanky footballer via these digitally enhanced images (below). I still don't know how good he is on the football field.



























Ah yes. Oldies but goodies.

the first post.

So here it is.. the new blog, the new canvas, the new beginning.

Let's see what we have to say for ourselves..